Foxxie Williams

THE HYPER SPAZZ

Full name: Rene Foxton Williams (he prefers the name "Foxxie" because Rene makes him sound like a dirty Frenchman)

Age: 27

Height: 5'2"

Weight: 108lbs

Occupation: Priest/Bartender

Hair color: Silver

Eye color: Blue

Hobbies: Sitting outside and watching the rain fall, drinking, illegal substances, kicking people for no reason whatsoever

Likes: Illegal substances, playing with fire, bar fights

Dislikes: People who make fun of him, police and days without his 'happy pills'

Rene was born into a rich and prosperous Chinese family. That is, until they realized that they had the wrong baby and quickly returned him to the hospital. Rene's REAL family was as poor as poor could be. His father sold his own blood for a living and his mother had to stay at home and attend to her nine children.

When Rene was only seven years old, his father died in a work-related accident (they took too much blood from him) and his mother went crazy and killed herself with a rusty butter-knife. Rene and his eight brothers and sisters were forced to fend for themselves until those crazy child-welfare people came and put them in separate homes. Rene would never see his brothers and sisters again. Not like he cared.

He was placed in the care of a wealthy family (who happened to live next door to May's family). Rene never got to enjoy the privileges of being a spoiled rich child, however. The snobby rich people looked down upon him and occasionally used him as a foot stool. In his free time, he would go and visit the girl next door. They were best pals.

Rene never went to school, seeing as that he had to spend most of his time as a foot stool. He began to loathe the rich people and by the age of  seventeen, he ran away, leaving a note that said "F*CK YOU, YOU F*CKIN ASSHOLES!! I HOPE YOU RUN INTO SOMETHING POINTY AND DIE OF LEPROSY!! By the way, there's sandwiches on the dining room table." A day after Rene had run away, the rich family mysteriously died.

Meanwhile, Rene found shelter in a small temple of junkies who taught him how to fight, using a mop. He quickly became good at it, and then spent his free time, learning to use magic.

Rene still wanted more out of life. He didn't just want to fight and take lots of drugs. He wanted to be somebody. By the age of twenty-two, Rene became a priest. It was slightly fulfilling but he was missing the excitement of being around lots of junkies, who had been like a true family to him. It was then that he decided to open up a bar called "The Flaming Shoe." The bar was very successful and Rene made lots of money.

In addition to that, Rene was surprised to see his old childhood friend, May. They rekindled their friendship and were once again the best of pals. They shared many good fights and fruit baskets together. Rene was, also, the only person to still talk to May after she had the accident with her inter-dimensional thingamabob, besides those pervy guys who try to hit on her.

If you couldn't tell by now, Rene is a drug addict. He's taken a liking to a particular kind of drug that he calls his 'happy pills.' If he doesn't get his happy pills, he won't be very pleasant.

"So he says 'I HATE YOU!! YOU OWE ME MONEY, YOU STUPID BASTARD!! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!! I'LL KILL YOU!! SO HELP ME, I'LL CUT OFF YOUR HEAD AND MAKE YOU EAT IT!!' And that's where babies come from..."